Poems, Stories, and Loving Where You’re At

As this series on poems comes to an end, I decided that I wanted to end it with something really cool. Deciding that is fine an all, but the trouble began when I started searching through my old files and I realized that I was not looking for something that’s just cool to me, nor simply something cool to you all, but something that is, first and for most, satisfying. Being cool helps make something satisfying, but it’s not enough all on it’s lonesome. This poem would have to be something that tied everything together, answered every lingering question, and let people feel like they’d had, well, a complete experience; something that created the sense that they were walking away with something neatly wrapped up for them to take home.

“That’s a tall order, Rayanne,” you say. “Why is it necessary?” My answer is simple: If it’s not a story, it doesn’t stick. And what is a story, but a thought, feeling, or time, loosely organized into a beginning, middle, and end? And what is a poem, if not a story? What poem doesn’t do it’s level best to hook you with the first line? Surely, there isn’t a single poem out there in which the theme was not found or reiterated in the final line. Is not every poet comfortable with the rise and fall of an arcing plot or crafted argument? I speak in generalities, but you’ll find it’s mostly true, and certainly true of all my poems, for this is the heart of my philosophy concerning written language. This is the foundation on which I write my poems; so too my stories, and so too my series.

Having considered this, the answer as to “What should I do for the finale” became clear quite quickly. It would have to be the Clever Cat’s Song. I originally wrote this poem as a final assignment for a Japanese class. Fitting, no?

And as with most school assignments, there was a lot of “unspokens” and pent-up emotions to express, now that I had an excuse. It can be frustrating to spend all your time in an environment where your very worldview is a forbidden subject, and when it is spoken of, it’s mocked openly. So, I wanted to use this poem to offer up all the retorts I’d held back, all the truth I’d buried in the name of peace. I ended up likening my relationship with God to my cat’s relationship with me. The metaphor wears thin in places, and no sooner had I crafted ideas around this thought than I began disguising it with the real-life story elements that became the true backbone of the poem. Also, I wrote it in Japanese, so the English feels jilted, and the thought progression feels foreign in places. I wouldn’t say it’s a masterpiece.

But at the end of the day, the kitten comes to the conclusion that’s she’s where she’s supposed to be. Not fully grown, not perfect, not “free” from her giant or the threats of her lifestyle, but glad to be where she is, if only because she’s made it this far. I hope you’ve heard this message already. If not, may you find it here.

賢い猫の歌　The Clever Cat’s Song

猫はえばって寝ることが出来るしそれでいい。
It is well that a Cat sleeps arrogantly
犬は床で食べなければいけないらしい。
I'm told dogs must eat off the floor
私は絶対にそうすることを断るね。
I refuse to do so, stringently
だって、この子猫は神のように賢い。
For this Kitten is wise like a god

生きてから四週後で、私は巨人に母から盗まれたそうだ。
It seems I was stolen by a giant from my mother when I was 4   weeks old
巨人が私の恩人になったとは思わないが、                               
I can't say that the giant is my savior, but...
ちゃんと育ててくれて、私の知識の全てを教えてくれたから、   
She raised me properly, and taught me all I know
なんか、大好きな巨人がいって、嬉しいかもしれない。           
So I might be happy to have this giant I love

病気の時、私は姉妹にからかわれた。　                                 
That time I got sick, my sister picked on me
巨人は心配して、私を車で毒の匂いがするこわい場所へ　
The giant worried, and in a scary car, to a poisonous smelling, scary place
こわい医者からアドバイスを受けに 連れて行って　           
I was taken, from a scary doctor to get advice
二ヶ月生きただけで死にそうになった。                                
At only two months old, it seemed I would die
でも、私の巨人はあきらめなかった。                                    
But my giant didn't give up on me
巨人は餌をにて、まぜた。私は巨人に食べさせられた。    
She boiled and mixed my food. I was forced to eat
巨人に体をつつまれてる間、「だまされた」「逃げよう」と考えた。
While I was wrapped tight I thought, "I've been deceived," and "I'll run away"
しかし、命をたすけてくれたから、「許して見てあげようか。」と言った。
But maybe I'll forgive her, since my life she saved

知らない巨人にいじめられたとき、牙と爪でしかおそわなかった。
That time I was bullied by an unknown giant, I had only teeth and claws to attack
「いたい、いたい」と叫びながら、巨人は手を振って泣いた。    
The giant wept, yelped "Ouch, ouch", and shook his hand
そんな驚くことを見ても信じにくかった。                                 
It was hard to believe without seeing it yourself
小さい猫だったのに、そのまま巨人を倒せた。                             
A tiny kitten was beating giants by herself

生後四ヶ月ぐらいから狩りを始めた。                                         
When I was four months old I began to hunt
獲物は虫から蛇と兎までにもなった。　                                    
My prey, now snakes and rabbits, began with bugs
ほめてもらいたかったが私の巨人の妹に𠮟られてしまった。
I wanted praise, but I was scolded my giant's sister instead
しなきゃならないものはしかたないだろう。                           
But you can't help the things to which you're born and bred

運命か天命か意志のせいかどうか分からないが、                      
Be it heaven's will, or fate, or my will, I don't know
巨人を選んで巨人に選ばれてよかった。                                      
But I'm glad the giant chose me, and I the giant chose
人間の気持ちは不可解でも、                                                        
Even though human emotions are incomprehensible
この賢い猫は絶対に別れないことにした。                               
This clever cat has decided to never break up